Merry Christmas Viewer!
As the end of another year approaches, I thought it would be nice to give you all a delightful Christmas Gift. And what better gift than the addition of “The Nations Sweetheart Mk 18″ ™ to the ongoing list of people that are more annoying than Ye Olde Favourite Michael of Hucknall.
Ok, not my finest photochop, but I was taking instructions from my seven year old daughter.
Anyway, can we have someone new to fawn over in 2011? Maybe someone with… perhaps… some talent? Who can sing live? Who isn’t buried waist deep in music mogul Simon Cowells anus? Obviously that rules out Sinitta, but I am sure her hopes of a comeback died some time in 1989. It also rules out Louis “Just For Men” Walsh, who as far as I know can’t actually sing anyway, although this is merely Hearsay. Whatever happened to them anyway? I know where Myleene and Kim are, but what happened to the others? Poor old Shrek.
So, 2010 wasn’t Chavryl’s finest year. Whilst one must be careful of making litiginous commentary, it is fairly safe to say her marriage was a disaster, her health took a bit of a pounding, and worst of all, none of her acts won the X-Factor. Poor old Rebecca. She really is very good. I think you can have too much of a good thing though, and whilst I use that term loosely, I heartily recommend that 2011 should be declared a Cole Free Zone. In fact, I think we should start protesting outside the Houses of Parliament for a total ban on Tweed.y. Things. Yes, Jack, that includes you. You no-mark waste of space. I might go and give Princess Anne’s Lada a bit of a shake and wave a stick at it.
If she does in fact go off to the States to be subtitled as a judge on the new American version of the X-Factor, that will at least give us some respite from her omnipresent self, although I am sure her L’oreal contract will never allow her to be too far from our eyes, and of course ITV 2 are BOUND to run American X-Factor, but then they also show “The Only Way Is Essex” so there really is NO need to turn that channel on unless you happen to want to watch the Corrie Omnibus, and while we are on the subject if it is true that Kerry Katona has been given a 3 year ITV deal – WHY? DEAR GOD WHY? I may just delete the whole channel from my EPG. (Thats Electronic Programme Guide, fact fans…)
Anyway. Chervil Cole. Happy Christmas and welcome to the world of being More Annoying Than Mick Hucknall.