Piers Morgan

So, my brother gave me a list of people I should put on the list. I hate it when he bosses me about. He’s younger than me and it simply doesn’t fit in the natural scheme of things for him to tell me what to do. But, he was IMO reasonably annoying, (Morgan, not my brother) and so I had him down on the list of “to-do” for future blog moments of “oh WHOOOO shall I dooooo today? I’m simply not irritated enough.”

But then TODAY, this monstrosity of a publicity picture came to my attention. It appears to be a Burger King advert, and I can only recommend that EVERYONE boycott Burger King PERMANENTLY, for thinking this was in any way shape or form amusing. It’s REPELLENT.

Be warned, before you scroll down, that your eyes may suffer permanent damage as a result of viewing this image. If they do, I can only apologise and ask you to contact one of those Lawyers -4 -Us type companies who will laugh in your face and eat your compensation in the form of a three course lunch at Wetherspoons.

“I went on a website with my eyes and really shouldn’t have been there.” Too bad, suckers. You were warned. Does anyone have Jeremy Clarksons phone number? I want to call him and see if he takes on contract work as a sideline. He gave him three punches for free, how many could I get him to give Morgan for actual cash? That said, I don’t have any actual cash, so a whipround would be in order. Cheques Payable to the “I wish to get Piers Morgan Beaten By Jeremy Clarkson Coz I Believe He Can Pack A Right Punch Fund” c/o Minxington Towers.

Britain MAY have Talent. But THIS, is not it. Gather your paper bags ladies and gentlemen, and make them sturdy. You’ll be needing them.

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Christ. On. A. Bike.

Christ. On. A. Bike.

Satan. On. A. Scooter.

Satan. On. A. Scooter. Which is the real one? Answers on the back of a stuck down envelope, pref not stuck down with vom chunks.

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9 Responses to “Piers Morgan”

  1. worzelgummidge Says:

    I’ve never felt quite so thankful that I’m a lezzer.

  2. I have long loathed the cretinous slime ball that IS Piers Morgan for being the beetroot faced, back stabbing orifice that he is. His blatant smugness and putrid smile usually makes me run like a girlie to the loo for a much needed dinner escape.

    So’s why am I so distinctly attracted to this pic (top one – of course)? It is because the multi talented Ms Minx has transformed the hapless ‘Roland Rat’ Piers into Nordic Love God, albeit with a twatty medallion. I set the scene… J’taime softly plays in the background, whilst MsGourmet uncorks a bottle of Prieur Jacques Volnay Santenots Premier Cru 2005 and shimmies over to her waiting prey. Then out come da ‘einz Baked Beans and he is smothered and ready for taking! Slippery Piers pudding – YUM.

  3. MrsMinxington Says:

    NO NO NO. I dint make him look like that. All I did was smug his face, (in the bottom one of course, the top one is TOTALLY all my own work :D) He was a hard one to perfect. Took me ages to get the chiselled bits right.

    OH GOD. I had beans for tea. I hate you.

  4. Did he like it while you chiselled his bits?

  5. duffington Says:

    Sister, Well done with this one. I have been waiting for this for a while.
    do you want the rest of my list now?

  6. MrsMinxington Says:

    Just email me it 🙂 Remember I only have a thousand vacancies though – well 985 or something now.

  7. ednawatkins Says:

    I hate this man, how and why anyone thinks he is the type of person who can give advice about talent is beyond me. I have had shits with more charisma and natural talent than this twat sac.

  8. clackdish Says:

    twat sac ha ha ha ha also applies to git on previous post wish id thought of that, give ya a fiver for it mate

  9. unochild Says:

    Yes. Complete twat. If I had this fucker telling me I had talent, i’d take it as a personal insult and possibly hang myself. Die. Please.

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