Paris HUGE Hilton

 

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!

Here's a weird thing, you expand her glasses (they weren't actually this big at the start) and she has no eyes, but looks as though she has bumcheeks there instead! Why? WHY?

 

 

Paris Hilton is PARTICULARLY annoying me at the moment. Not because she’s rich, or famous for being famous, or because she goes through BFF’s on a yearly basis, or that she carries her dog around in a handbag, or that she seems to want to get married to any and every single one of her ex-boyfriends who are usually “The One”  from five minutes after they get together until the time until it all goes tits up half an hour later – or any of the other usual reasons why you might be annoyed by her.

No, the reason she’s annoying me so intensely at the moment is because I made the extremely stupid decision to follow her on Twitter. She tweets fairly regularly. That in itself is not so much of a big deal, I suppose, that’s what Twitter is all about, 140 chars to tell the world what you are up to. Like a facebook status update with less letters available and no Bejewelled Blitz to drive you scatty.

You pretty much get to know EVERYTHING that she does, except for take a dump, so she possibly doesn’t actually poo. Maybe she had a colostomy fitted so she can get her maid to poo for her, or maybe the dog in a bag thing is a cunning disguise for her poo in a bag and if it gets a bit ripe she can just blame the dog, I dunno, nor do I really care.

The other day, we (and I say WE because I’m NOT the only person following her, surprisingly) had tweets that included photos of her doggy mansion, which is located next to her swimming pool and has all the luxuries a doggy could ever need, including a large black chandelier.

Yah. Because dogs TOTALLY need to be able to see where they are scampering around their doggy mansions. Who knows WHAT could happen if the doggies weren’t adequately lit up? They might FALL down the doggy staircase and land on the doggy wardrobe where all their doggy fashion items are no doubt stored. That would be a doggy tragedy. Was a little worried about the lack of handbag parking outside though.

But mostly, she annoys me because she seems to want to be creating her own catchphrases. Every single thing she says ends in “HUGE!” or “LOVES IT!”  She took photos of a flight she was on to Dubai, there was a little area with a mirror that had lights round it, and she posted “HUGE!”. I assume “HUGE!” is supposed to mean “WOW, I cannot believe how glamorous and fantabulous this item I am photographing is” – but when you are talking about a small seating area in a transatlantic plane, then “HUGE!”” seems to be a bit of a misnomer.

What does entertain me more than slightly though, is that her namesake Perez Hilton, the celebrity blogger and right royal pain in the arse to the stars, (ahem) has taken to twittering her back and ending his replies with “OBESE!” 

I keep deliberating about unfollowing her, there really is NOTHING that she says that engages me whatsoever, but… I just can’t bring myself to do it. Can someone email me that picture of Zammo McGuire from Grange Hill when he had taken the Heroin overdose, or better yet, the youtube of the Kids from Grange Hill singing “Just Say No”.

 I thought I could handle it. But Hilton really screws you up.

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5 Responses to “Paris HUGE Hilton”

  1. worzelgummidge Says:

    You should twitter her this link and see if she thinks it’s HUGE and says LOVE IT!

  2. MrsMinxington Says:

    I betcha she doesn’t! LOVES IT!!!!

  3. dominoid747 Says:

    She has bum eyes. That’s a very serious disease, Bob from Weebl and bob fame had it.

  4. Yes, YES!!!! I am going to so twitter her this link… right now, well after building a lickle mansion for my doggy woggy – he has ‘Paris Hillton Dog’ envy…. And Nothing is too good for my baby boy. However, he has suggested bark activated lighting, as he deems a chandelier to be so OTT – OBESE!

  5. clackdish Says:

    nicole ritchie should have twatted her one

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