R.I.P. F.I.A. The Downfall of Max Mosley?

What do you mean this isn't what you meant by Budget Cap, Mosley? I have 40 million of these on order!

What do you mean this isn't what you meant by Budget Cap, Mosley? I have 40 million of these on order!


 Ok, maybe jumping the gun a little maybe, but hopefully it’s not a Mauser Schnellfeuer-Pistole. Anyone who’s been anywhere near a news website or tv show is likely to know that FOTA (the Formula One Teams Association) have stated today that they intend to form a breakaway championship, as a result of an inability to find a suitable compromise over contractual conditions for the 2010 FIA World Championship – with the FIA – International Automobile Federation (yes, its FIA in another language, probly Italian or something.)

Those of you who are not F1 fans will probably still know that the head of the FIA is Max Mosley – simply because he was a tabloid star for some weeks after the News of The World exposed his private “Pretend To Be A Germanic Army Officer Torturing Someone But Honest Guv’nor It’s Nothing To Do With The Nazis I Promise” activities which kinda killed his credibility as the senior figurehead of a huge international governing body such as the FIA. Nonetheless, he stamped his jackboot firmly and stayed put despite calls for him to step down from his role, somehow surviving a vote of confidence from the members of the Federation.

Anyway, long story short, Mosley and the FIA have said “Next year you vill all either stick to a budget cap of 40 million OR you von’t, but you von’t have the same freedom as those that do! Heil Hitler!” to the teams. 

Most of the teams retorted “Up Yours, Mosley. Your plan sucks and we will only sign up for next year’s championship if you change this plan significantly so we don’t end up with a two tier system, and take that anglepoise lamp out of our eyes.” 

Maxy-mo then said “Best I can do chaps, is phase it in over 2 years, next year you can have more, but the year after that you have to get it down to £40 million or else.”

Most of the teams retorted “Up Yours, Mosley. Your plan still sucks. We said we would only sign up unconditionally if the conditions changed in a sensible way. We don’t think thats sensible, and you can kiss our shiny metal collective arses. We’re not signing and more importantly, we’re bored of you bossing us about and want to do it ourselves better than you clearly can. So we’re going to make our own championship, yah boo sucks to you and your pet monkey Ecclestone, let’s see how you fare without eight of the best known teams on board for next year.”

At time of writing – the FIA have announced plans to start legal proceedings against this plan, Bernie Ecclestone is wandering round in a bit of a daze going “Weh Teh Fuh?” and Max “My Way Or The Highway” Mosley has just started the ball rolling for a lengthy, drawn out tediously boring fight that will no doubt drag on for several years, be hugely disruptive and damage F1 so significantly that it will probably never recover. I expect he’s already put a sign up on his office door saying “War Chamber” and has started rearranging model cars on a model track using a pushy stick thing.

Now – clearly the discussions with FOTA were pointless, Mosley was never going to listen, or do anything other than please himself. That’s just the nature of the beast.

However, if there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to bring a previously strong minded person of a well known nature to their knees – it’s being designated MORE ANNOYING THAN MICK HUCKNALL.

Max Mosley, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY NOW MORE ANNOYING THAN MICK HUCKNALL. Stop interfering in that which doesn’t concern you, leave team and budget management to the teams it affects and keep your wrinkly old scrote out of the media and in your pants. And no, I don’t mean Ecclestone. Or maybe I do.


One Response to “R.I.P. F.I.A. The Downfall of Max Mosley?”

  1. dominoid747 Says:

    He was always more annoying than hucknall, but he’s got worse now. He’s not as big a cunt as Ecclestone, but that doesn’t help him much. That’s like saying Syphilis isn’t as bad as Herpes.

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