It’s Been A While…

Ok, it’s been an embarrassing length of a while. I have no excuses. Forgive me?

The problem with Hucknall is that he never really goes away. He went quiet for a while (much to the gratitude of the soon to be former Mr Minxington, paperwork pending) much like I did, and now can be mostly found talking shite on Twitter (much like I can…)

Mr Minxington and I went our separate ways about four years ago. After I turned 40 and had the worlds most epic midlife crisis not involving the purchase of a sports car, I realised that I’d been keeping a secret from not just everyone else but also myself. The bottom line being, I’m just not a fan of cock. You’d think after 16 years with someone who was in possession of a cock it would have become apparent sooner, but I was far too busy trying to be all things to all people to not actually listen to myself. I won’t bore you with the details, it was a rough old time, and I was more or less the last to know, but here I am, late onset lesbianism notwithstanding, through the worst of the ending of a marriage to someone I really loved and cared for, and ready for a few new adventures.

Times have changed since the days of Old Huck. We were the forerunners of today’s internet trolls, mercilessly ripping into the celebrity culture, carelessly throwing our opinions and incisive wit with splattering precision at the celebrities and wellknown figures of the day without a care in the world. On the old site, members in their thousands joined to vent their collective spleens over their distaste at Kate Lawlers stint at presenting breakfast TV and the actions of G W Bush, or to occasionally give us the fear of a brush with the solicitor of a disgruntled Duncan from Blue… There was some moments of absolute comedic genius, but then the bile and vile swamped the smile and the style, and the whole thing had to go.

Latterly, there was this. An attempt by me to resurrect the basically sound premise of formulating a list of people who could be judged more or less annoying on a scale of Hucknall by the readers, accompanied by some bad photoshopping and occasionally funny things that popped in my head. Even now I still occasionally revisit the Sarah Jessica Parker post and piss myself laughing at “Four Faults”. I don’t even care it was my joke I’m laughing at. It just got stuck under my ribs to occasionally resurface and tickle me. It’s been essential as well, to remember that once I was capable of having a sense of humour. And a voice.

Now and again I get a call to “Bring Back Hucknall”. Until now, the timing has never been quite right. Either my personal situation hasn’t allowed me the headspace to properly consider doing this again (it’s not the smallest of tasks to commit to) or I’ve just not been feeling it for one reason or another.

In the last couple of years, however, things have become SO ridiculous that now seems to be just the right time. Whether Hucknall should legitimately still be the figurehead of fun of this endeavour is one to be debated at a later date, there are certainly newer models who could fill those shoes as the benchmark of annoyance just as well, but for now, I’m going to stick with the original and best, because he genuinely is pretty much middle-of-the-road annoying nowadays, so it should be easy enough to use him as a yardstick.

For the record, all content contained within should be treated as satire and observational comedic opinion. Comments are the responsibility of those that posted them. Not me. So don’t lose your shit and try and sue me. It’s a joke. Mostly for my own amusements. But if it amuses you too, all to the greater good.

Previous posts will remain in situ although I might go through them just to double check there are no dead people on there and remove them, just for common decency sake.

Nominations for additions to the list are as always welcome, please feel free to message me to see your personal annoyance given due consideration.

It is 00.56 on January 5th 2019. Let the resurrection commence.